Considering the abusive streak in my hubby, I had contemplated divorce and wasn’t willing to have any more kids. But I don’t know how my hubby can be such a BOBO Shooter even when we do with condoms on.

I had took pills before as contraceptives but he wasn’t happy with it. To him, that would mean I can have sex with other men but he will never know. What logic is that??? So fine.. I gave up the pills, he can use condoms.. but what the heck! How did he get his marksman badge in Army??!!!

I was already a housewife at that time after finishing my 6 years contract in Army. My daughter was still taken care of by my parents, and my son was quite lonely. So having a 3rd kid didn’t seem to be a bad idea. So amidst the Teletubbies era, I gave birth to my 3rd kid.

My 4th kid was also conceived due to her father’s BOBO-ness. He just started on a new job then, earning $800/month. So financially we were very strapped. He has agreed that an abortion would be right, but he kept delaying it! By the time he had saved ‘enough’ abortion fees, I was already 5 months pregnant!!

I would have borrowed the $ from my friends to abort and got it over with, had he not been concerned about his ‘face’. I wasn’t too happy with him. His ‘face’ resulted in my 4th kid being born shortly after and the onset of our finance hardship.

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I do not regret having my 4 kids. They are my most valuable gifts from heaven. They are the ones who give me the motivation to pull myself up, and to look towards life. Without my kids, I would probably hatch some revenge plot or to commit suicide wearing red etc. to get back at my hubby.

But, I won’t. His life isn't worth shit compared to the more fulfilling and meaningful life I can look forward to with my kids.

He will have to live with the consequences of his actions till the day he dies.

Alone.